Sweatology

I am a pretty sweaty guy. And I don't think this is my opinion, but an empirical fact. I sweat a lot. As they say, it just "is what it is" (which, as an aside, I find to be such a ridiculous cop-out corporate statement. Essentially, when people use this phrase, it is tantamount to saying "Look, I have no idea why this is happening/I have no intent of changing/I have no intent of investigating/I am too busy pretending to look productive and so the phenomenon about which you are asking is a mystery to me.") Many people have even conjectured publicly that I moved to Minnesota simply to be less sweaty.

But this article has simultaneously vindicated me and proved another one of my many-frequently-thought-to-be-ridiculous-but-I-am-being-serious statements to be true. Sweating is not only natural but the ability for humans to cool themselves through perspiration has been essential in our ability to survive and evolve (and therefore, in my opinion, should be viewed as a competitive genetic advantage.) The article then goes on to state that sweat glands evolved as body hair vanished - which I interpret as: hairy people are less evolved. If you have ever been around me after a sip of anything with alcohol, you have most likely heard this phrase uttered from my mouth.

....But we have little tolerance for even brief overheating: the brain malfunctions with six or seven degrees of fever, and an internal temperature of 110, barely a dozen degrees above normal, is often cited as the upper limit compatible with life. So a good internal air-conditioner is essential, both to dissipate the heat generated by the body’s metabolism and to relieve the heat absorbed from miserable summer weather.

“It is plain old unglamorous sweat that has made humans what they are today,” writes the evolutionary anthropologist Nina G. Jablonski in her recent book “Skin.” “Without plentiful sweat glands keeping us cool with copious sweat, we would still be clad in the thick hair of our ancestors, living largely apelike lives.”

Fur inhibits sweat-induced cooling, and furry animals generally have other ways to lose heat. In humans, Dr. Jablonski argues, sweat glands evolved as body hair vanished, allowing optimal cooling of the enlarging hominid brain and an active lifestyle even in the blazing sun....